How much of our lives do we spend waiting for permission. Permission to leave the relationship that's draining us. Permission to quit the job that's killing our soul. Permission to say no. Permission to want more. Permission to change our minds. Permission to choose ourselves. We are forever waiting for someone, anyone, to tell us it's okay to do what we already know we need to do. And whilst we're waiting, we stay stuck. We stay small. We stay in situations that don't serve us because we're terrified of what people will think if we actually choose ourselves. Then the Life Bomb hits. And suddenly, all that waiting feels ridiculous. Because when everything falls apart, you realise something profound. The only permission you ever needed was your own. Self permission is the hidden gift inside the devastation that is a Life Bomb.
From the time we're little, we're taught to seek approval, which separates us from our wholeness. We learn that being "good" means doing what we're told, not making waves, and keeping everyone else happy. We learn that our worth is tied to how well we perform, how much we achieve, and how little trouble we cause. So we grow up believing that we need someone else's validation to make our choices legitimate. Then we grow up and start to adult.
We need our partner to agree before we can leave. We need our boss to recognise our value before we can ask for more. We need our family to understand before we can set boundaries. We need our friends to support us before we can make a change. But we in a trap! We're waiting for permission from people who benefit from us staying exactly where we are. We're waiting for approval from people who are invested in us not changing. So we stay stuck. We stay silent. We’re trapped in our thoughts. And we stay in situations that slowly erode our sense of self because we're too scared to trust our own knowing without someone else's stamp of approval.
Then the Life Bomb hits. Demanding that now is the time to look at your story. Maybe it's a betrayal that shatters your trust. Or it's a health scare that makes you realise you've been living for everyone but yourself. Perhaps it's a loss that strips away everything you thought mattered. Whatever it is, it forces you to confront a truth you've been avoiding. The truth that no one is coming to give you permission. No one is going to tell you it's okay to choose yourself. There’s no one who’s going to validate your decision to walk away, start over, or demand more.
In that moment of realisation and devastation, something shifts. You begin to see that waiting for permission has cost you years of your life. You start to realise that the only person who gets to decide what's right for you is you. You begin to understand that you've been giving your power away to people who were never going to give it back. And whilst that realisation is terrifying, it's also the most liberating thing that's ever happened to you. Because now you know. You know that you don't need anyone's permission to live your life authentically. You just need your own. You simply need self permission.
Here's where being grateful comes in. Not in gratitude for the pain. Or having gratitude for the betrayal or the loss or the heartbreak. But grateful for yourself. For you giving you the opportunity for clarity. Grateful to yourself for the wake-up call. Gratitude for the moment you stopped waiting and started choosing. Because that Life Bomb? It didn't just take something away from you. It gave you something imperfect courage to get something life changing back. It gave you back your power. And it gave you permanent permission slip to stop pretending.
Finally, permission to stop people-pleasing. Permission to stop following all the rules and shrinking yourself to fit into spaces that were no longer meant for you. It gave you permission to trust yourself, to honour your intuition, to set boundaries without guilt, and to choose your own happiness without needing anyone else's approval. That’s self permission. And when you look back at your Life Bomb from that perspective, you can see it differently. You see that it wasn't just destruction. And that in fact, it was liberation! It wasn't just an ending. It was a beginning. And it wasn't just something that happened to you. It was something that happened for you.
When you stop waiting for ‘outside-in’ permission, everything changes. You stop tolerating relationships that drain you. And you stop staying in jobs that don't value you. You finally stop saying yes when you mean no. You get to stop apologising for taking up space. And you can stop shrinking yourself to make other people comfortable.
You start trusting your intuition. And you start setting boundaries. And you finally start choosing yourself without guilt. You get to start living authentically instead of pretending you’re a-okay about everyone and everything. For people who were never going to applaud anyway. Which can feel like such a surprising power to feel.
And the most beautiful part is, that when you give yourself permission to live your life on your terms, you become a different person. You become stronger. And clearer. You are more connected to who you really are. You get to feel the gift of freedom that you’ve given to yourself. You become someone who doesn't need external validation, because you've learned to validate yourself. You have become someone who doesn't wait for life to give you permission. You give your self permission. And that version of you? That's the version your Life Bomb was trying to create.
Giving yourself permission to live authentically is the ultimate act of self-love. It's saying, "I matter. My needs and happiness matters. And I don't need anyone else to agree with me or that for it to be true." It's choosing yourself even when it's uncomfortable. Even when people don't understand. And even when it means disappointing others or walking away from what's familiar. It's trusting that you know what's best for you, even when you can't see the full picture yet. It's believing that you're worthy of more, even when no one else is telling you that. And it's recognising that the only person who has to live your life is you. So you might as well live it in a way that feels true to you.
You might as well live it in a way that honours who you really are. And you might as well live it in a way that makes you proud. Because at the end of the day, the only permission you ever needed was your own. And the fact remains that your Life Bomb simply made the truth that you needed your own permission impossible to ignore.
*If you're ready to stop waiting for permission and start reclaiming your power, the Come Back To You Retreat is designed to help you reconnect with your authentic self, trust your own knowing, and give yourself the permission you've been waiting for. You don't have to do this alone.
