Have you ever noticed the same feeling showing up in different situations throughout your life? Maybe it's that knot in your stomach when you feel unseen. Or the frustration when you're not heard. Perhaps it's the familiar ache of not quite belonging, even when you're surrounded by people who care about you. These patterns aren't random. They're what your soul already knows.
Take heart then that they're definitely not a sign that something's wrong. What if instead of feeling like something's wrong, we see these repeating experiences as your soul's way of getting your attention? What if there's a thread connecting that feeling you had as a child to what's happening in your life right now? And in understanding that thread, it' exactly what you need to finally feel like things will always work out somehow for you?
When we're going through something difficult, we often get stuck seeing it from only one side. We tend to focus on the situation itself. Like, what happened, who did what, why it's unfair or confusing. However, there's usually a much bigger picture at play. Because, nothing in your life is truly random. The people you felt drawn to, the patterns that keep repeating, the experiences that shaped you. These all carry meaning that exists beyond the moment itself.
When we can pull back from the situation and look at what it represents for us emotionally, we start to find the thread. Maybe it's that the conflict you're having with your partner right now mirrors how you felt trying to get your mum's attention as a child. Or perhaps it's the way you feel overlooked at work that connects back to how you felt in your family growing up. When we can see these connections, something inside us shifts. It's what your soul already knows. The experience we're having now starts to make sense in a way it didn't before. And when that happens, your nervous system receives the message that you understand. That it makes sense. That you're not that age you were before now. And, you can finally breathe.
As an example, let's talk about those moments when you set yourself up to do something. Like eat well, exercise, stick to a boundary… And then before you know it, you're back doing the exact thing you didn't want to do. Then you get really mad at yourself.
What's actually happening is that there's a part of you that created a pattern a long time ago to help you feel safe. We do this because maybe eating something from the pantry made us feel loved when we missed out on being nurtured. Or maybe staying busy helped us avoid feeling things that were too big to process when we were little. These patterns are still running underneath what we do. So, when you try to change it without understanding why it's there, our inner self sees it as deprivation. It's not self-sabotage.
What's happening is that we're taking away the only way we knew how to feel safe, loved or seen. Of course we're going to override our own plan. Inside we're just trying to survive. The question isn't "Why can't I just stop doing this?" The real question is "What do I actually need that I'm not giving myself?". When we can sit with that question and find that thread back to when you were little and name it, things get to change. You're not unreliable, hopeless, or any other bad or mad thing you want to say about yourself. You're simply trying to meet a need using a pattern that's been there since the beginning of your childhood.
Your body can't be talked out of what it knows. You can't think your way into feeling safe if the deeper "why" hasn't landed yet. However, when understanding finally arrives and when the experience is seen clearly and truthfully, your body receives that message of understanding. This is what your soul already knows. Space starts to return. Your nervous system begins to settle. Not because you forced it to, but because alignment has been restored. This is what it means to move from mind–body–soul to soul–mind–body. You're not a mind trying to manage a body with a soul quietly tagging along. You're a soul having an Earth experience, using your mind and body to learn, grow and understand.
We get so busy trying to get back to normal, to keep going and to do all the things, that we forget we're actually here to experience life and understand ourselves. It's worth taking the time to ask ourselves…
When you truly answer the real "why" and it begins to make sense inside, you'll feel there's a peace that settles in. There's a clarity that wasn't there before. That self-awareness can bring you a calm in your life that you otherwise don't have. This is what your soul already knows.
*If you're ready to explore what your patterns are trying to show you and finally make sense of the experiences that keep showing up, Unpack Your Life offers a safe space to do exactly that. For you to understand the why, release what you've been carrying, and come home to yourself.
